Where It Began

A few months ago, I decided to turn my lifelong passion of lifestyle photography into an actual side gig (because having two young kids under 3 and a Full-Time job clearly isn't enough)! I'm joking.. but I'm also dead serious. It wasn't enough, emotionally speaking that is. After nearly a decade of being in the service industry, and resisting the 9-5 schedule, I finally succumbed to it, and guess what, I loved the stability it brought me. But I also didn't feel fulfilled. All the while, I was attending photography school, creating emotionally-dense projects, getting my work out there, and also not feeling fulfilled (and mentally drained on top of that). Something wasn't working, so I walked away from photography thinking that was the issue.

What Happened?

Those years in photography school and creating projects that were ultimately about my past and family (whose family isn't a little complicated) were emotionally and mentally draining, in both a good and bad way. Good, because of what I learned about myself, the risks I took, and the skills that I refined. Bad, because it opened old wounds within myself and my family that I hadn't been brave enough to face in the past.

Getting Personal

In talking to a close friend, I realized something: maybe I'm not meant to only have a 9-5 or only be an emotionally-exhausted artist. I love photography, and lifestyle photography at that. I value moments that are real and vulnerable: the way the light enters a home while the kiddos are still asleep, the energetic screams at a birthday party, the way a newborn nuzzles into their loved one's chest while the toddler runs circles around the kitchen island. Photography is my way of communicating that connection to the world.

So, What Now?

Do I regret walking away from photography for a little while? Absolutely not, but I also didn't realize how much I'd miss it. The time away allowed me to realize that perhaps I wasn't photographing in a way that felt true to me. So now, in-between naps, and after the kiddos have gone to sleep at night, I work on what I love. I've been obsessed with photography for a long time: I went to school for it, taught it, practiced it. And then I walked away from it. Being back behind the camera now, though, feels different somehow, and I'm excited (and terrified) to see where it takes me.